Tuesday, December 19, 2006

The Solstice Is The Reason For The Season, and Other Homogenous Topics

That's right, you heard me. I'm a foot soldier in the War on Xmas. Yes, I actually wrote "Xmas," what are you gonna do about it? Now, you start celebrating the birth of Jesus in April, then we could start talking about something. Why not reclaim April Fool's, seeing as you invented that too?

Moving on, I defy you to watch this trailer with a straight face throughout its length. I must admit, one part of the pedigree intrigues me, but this trailer...oof. I didn't know what to make of the whole thing for the first 15-20 seconds; the opening "scary" moment to the appearance of a major screen actor in a small, but showy role. As soon as I recognized the face, however, I entered the giggle loop. Thankfully, V was of the same opinion, and I forget which line started it, but by the time the thing was done, we couldn't calm down.

It looks dreadfully serious, though.

B. Jones Interlude: Allen Iverson to join former Sonics George Karl and Earl Boykins on the Denver Nuggets team. I can't stand the city (though, it's the sanest one in that blighted state), but as my boys are in the doldrums, I can put up with one of the lamest mascots of all time in order to cheer this team on. AI + Melo + Karl = Western Conference Playoffs, at the least. *knock wood*

(Dear family, if by chance you're reading this, consider the game on 12/26. Just sayin'.)

Aside to TAR Producers: I know it's too late, and this coming season of TAR All-Stars is just about to end taping, but I want to make this known: If the unconfirmed teams on the season do not include Team Cha Cha, Kris/Jon, the clowns or the BaldSnark, can you really say this was an all star season? (Jill and Jon Vito? What?) That said, thank you for the non-inclusion of Jonathan and Victoria, probably the vilest thing to come out of any reality show ever. Yes, including Jeff Probst, Janice Dickinson and Paris Hilton.

What else to say? Oh, right...I'm heading to Denver for the holidays, and will return on the 28th. Not sure if the family abode has joined the 21st century with online connection, so, I may or may not be able to file reports from the field.

In the meantime, however you celebrate the coming weeks, I wish you the very best of times, and let us devour the coming year victoriously!

Happiness to all and sundry!


Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Well Well Well...

Not many of my readers enjoy reading about politics either, but, you know, these are some of the things that fill my head with thought...If nothing else, I hope you enjoy the biased-rant nature of them. (From whence comes this meta-crap, anyway?)

Regardless, I recommend you take a look at GHWBush's breakdown, if you haven't seen it already...What on earth is happening here?

Speculation's run amok, but I'm leaning towards a "look at the mess that's become of our legacy" kind of reading, specifically commenting on the Chimp in Charge's inability to "accept defeat" like his other son...

Just sayin'.

B. Jones: The Wisdom of the Bennett

Fuck Howard Schulz! Kill Wally Walker!

All right, with that out of the way, I have to confess that watching this year's team has been akin to a war of attrition on my enthusiasm. Gads, I haven't seen a waste of talent on this scale since Woody Allen's Celebrity.

Look, I've been bleeding green and gold for such a long time, so my guard is way up. Which is why I can't help but be leery when I read that Clayton Bennett, the new owner, is giving ultimatums, even if I do believe it might be for the general benefit of the team. Well, except for talking about trading a star player...that never works, and yet it's been an old standby for numerous general managers over the ages. You'd think people would look at Wally Walker's history to see how well that works. grumble grumble

Thing is, watching the team, it has become quite easy to be retroactively cynical about the events of the past. I've become convinced that Schulz/Walker have been planning to dump the team for at least Schulz' tenure, if not longer. How else to explain the current malaise: Poor coaching.

Not that I'm about to let the players off the hook; their play can best be described as dispirited and lazy. The fact that no one moves off the ball, though? Or that the defense is pretty much non-existent? Yeah, that's coaching.

Don't get me wrong, I was as relieved as the next guy when Hill took over for Weiss early last season. And his performance was such that it gave the promise of possibility at the end of last year. However, it's become obvious that the problems that plagued the team in the latter portion of the 05-06 season are still here, and that Hill has no idea how to go about fixing it.

(Omitting the token paragraph wherein I wax nostalgic for Nate McMillan, and place a jihad on Wally Walker's head for the umpteenth time.)

But, is gutting the team the answer? Is firing the coach mid-stream the way to go? Frankly, the situation is not unlike Damocle's Sword, and I can't give a sound answer, just ask further questions like: Who're we gonna get for Lewis? What's out there that could possibly be seen as an equitable trade for this talent at the moment? Who in the hell would replace Hill halfway through the season? Jack Sikma, Wally Walker's buttboy?

Yeah, no.

Anyway...At this point I'm starting to fantasize that should the current ownership succeed in moving the Sonics to Oklahoma City, Paul Allen will uproot his team from Portland and bring the Jailblazers and the former Mr. Sonics up here. I can dream.

Oh, and I'm aware that not many of my regular readers care about sports or the Sonics, so please spare me the reminder if you were thinking of mentioning it again. Thanks.