Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Michael Atkinson, Member AARP

Crap like this really does chafe.

I mean, someone get the guy some metamucil!

SEVERAL bits of opinion and obvious grand standing that I, needless to say, disagree with. Not just beginning with the whole "I used to dig comic books when I was a kid then outgrew them" bit of exposition.

For one thing, he neglects to mention when exactly he outgrew comic books. The reason this is important is that the bloody things matured, the storytelling grew more complex, and, particularly with the Batman, got more harrowing as time went on. From his text, it sounds like he stopped reading right after the comics code went into effect and every single damn title in the world became precursors to the uber-campy crap that was dominant in the 60s and 70s. (exceptions for smart, if still simplistic, fare like Stan Lee's X-Men, which addressed the King v. X approaches to civil rights in a way that prepubescent and largely white kids could understand without explicitly telling them that this was what was going on.)

For another, damning adults who actually liked either Iron Man or the current Batman movie as people in arrested development...talk about insulting. Sure, he spends some time talking about how his problem with The Dark Knight is more about the lack of storytelling acumen (from the director that made Memento understandable) and the lack of human touches in his story. But reading it, the real thrust of his complaint is in the final paragraph, where he bemoans the 'infantilization of the mass populace.'

V for Vendetta? A movie that endorses anarchy against Big Brother type thinking? Yeah, that's pretty child-like.

Besides, in an era where they are talking about remaking Robocop, Nightmare on Elm Street, an impending remake of Death Race 2000, and god knows what other pap between this summer and next, comic books have become a last resource of original and smart entertainment.

Really, his rant is more of an Intellectualism v. Sensationalism in Cinema kind of thing, and while I love and worship Kubrick, sometimes there needs to be a little Ken Russell in the mix.

In other words, bullshit, Mr. Atkinson.

14/48 Event Blogging: 95% Complete

It was another exhausting weekend of 14/48, with plenty of madcap japery and harrowing misadventures to last me another six months.

I feel pretty happy with the work I've done so far.

If you want to take a look at what all transpired, go here, and continue moving to newer posts to get the whole story.

Friday, July 25, 2008

Blogging Re-Direct

Blogging productions here at the Missives will trickle down to a complete stop, making it entirely indistinguishable from what's going on here the rest of the time anyway. The reason for this announcement, however, is that I will be blogging the 14/48 experience this weekend.

Check out the goings-on at 14/48's Blog Site.

This will either jump-start a blogging frenzy over here, or, not really change the production schedule at all. We'll see.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Ever Have One Of Those Days...

...where you wonder "just how much of an asshole am I?"

I mean, I know I'm an asshole, but am I a raging douchebag or a serious fucktwit?

Tomorrow's another day.

Tuesday, July 08, 2008

B. Jones: Schmall Star Game

I gotta say, of all the worthless sports related spectacles, the all star game of whatever sport has got to be the nadir.

Occasionally you get a good game, but usually, not worth the time. The NFL at least has the decency to hold theirs the week after the Super Bowl.

Should the players have a break? Yeah, why not?

Actually, the last time there was a good baseball all star game, the commish put the kibosh on the game because it went 400 innings. Really. Wiki that shit.

This is an attempt to not think about the NBA, but typing the word 'commish' a few sentences ago made me think of strangling Stern again, so that ended that.

Signing off now.

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Wednesday, July 02, 2008

B. Jones: Deal With It

Of all the chickenshit...
I was ten years old when I moved to the US, and already, I was a basketball freak.

One day, my Uncle Jesus sat me down and said, "listen, you wanna be like an American? You have to like football." Is that like futbol? "No, it's different...Look, I'll take you to a game. But for right now, if anyone asks? You say you like the Broncos, okay?" Okay.

At some point after that, he gave me the sports section. "Look through there, find a team you wanna root for." Do I have to like football? What about basketball? "Do you want Americans to like you? Yes, you have to like football, but basketball's okay too. You can find a basketball team to like, too, okay?" Okay!

Thus it was that I came to like the Buccaneers (they have a pirate on their helmet!) and the Supersonics.

I saw the team name and asked him what that meant. "It's when something goes so fast, they go faster than the speed of sound." Woooooow*.

The year was 1980.

I think I've been betrayed by this city for the last time. Maybe not, but I'm seriously thinking about it.

I've been through a lot since '92. Some great ups and some truly shitty downs. Last time I felt this pissed off about the place was when the city council put the monorail on the ballot for the fifth time, and the populace voted against it.

Now this (J.A. Adande's commentary on the news). Last time I seriously talked about this business, I asked Seattle if it really wanted to be the first city to let carpetbaggers come to town and willingly let them take a pro franchise away.**

Apparently, the city's answer is 'yes.'

Seattle's last three mayors and their highlights:

1) Norm Rice, shady downtown real estate dealings kept him from a Clinton era HUD seat.

2) Paul Schell, got hit by angry SPD victim; WTO riots; Mardi Gras '01 and SPD Chief Norm Stamper.

3) Greg Nickels, monorail fracas, city business shill, explaining the Sonics fiasco.

Adande mentions in the essay linked above that city governance couldn't stop this from happening, and he's right. However, there's been more than a fair amount of finger waggling at current mayor Greg Nickels. And rightfully so.

With a couple of exceptions (and I do include the generally sane, yet regrettably anti-Sonic Nick Licata on that list), the bulk of the city council are douchebags. Governor Gregoire is a douchebag. However, Nickels is the biggest douchebag of them all.

The other politicians are guilty of not giving a shit about all this until it was too late. However, here they had the past on their sides. Somehow, some way, when pro sports made demands in the past, they would get their way and Seattle kept the team. Arrogant thinking, but, let's face it, 7 times out of 10, US cities give in to demands, the pro franchise is momentarily sated, and the cities get to keep the teams. It's an understandable stance.

Nickels, while still guilty of the above, talked a mother fucking game to the fans once he did show up. Gonna take 'em to court, enforce the lease. Hire Slade Gordon (who strong armed MLB for an expansion team back in the 70s), see what he can do. If we're victorious, then we'll see about fixing the arena and finding local buyers. (All things that could've been done years ago, but, must focus.)

They go to fucking court. They actually have a case, and even if shit goes bad, all they really had to do was whisper 'anti-trust' in David Stern's ear, and then we'd see what's what. They finish the fucking case. Not seamlessly, but the case is strong, and actually has a good chance of winning. (Look, I'm an idealist/romantic, let me have my delusions.)

This is when we find out that city hall has been in negotiations with the Carpet Bagger ownership for at least a month. Not only that, but city hall agrees, on the day the judgment on the case was to come out, to settle out of court for $45m, with an additional $30m on the condition that Seattle doesn't have an NBA team in five years (which, in turn, is on the condition that Seattle has renovated Key Arena for the second time in less than 20 years. In other words, don't count on that $30m). The city went from standing up for everything that was right, logical and honorable in a city's fight agains pro teams, to capitulating to every single thing that was wrong about the NBA's/Carpet Baggers' stance, for fucking eight figures.

Nickels then has the balls to hold a goddamn press release, with the Carpet Baggers in question, and talks about all of this as if it's great news all around. In short order, he's talking about "being able to keep the name, colors and history," and not wanting to have "bad relations with the NBA," after two years of forced occupancy. Not only that, but he leads an attempt for the other lawsuit still pending (aka - Howard Schulz's Operation: 2 Little 2 Late Part 2) to be withdrawn.

Fuck that. Fuck you, Nickels. You had the chance to follow through for the populace, actually succeed, and you fucked it up. Again.

Fuck. You. Greg 'Cheese Dick' Nickels.

Of all the goddamn chickenshit...

I could go on forever, and have. I will end on two lists:

Sonics Bad Moves, As I See Them (subject to chronological discrepancies):

1) Wally Walker marries Barry Ackerley's daughter, Walker becomes part of front office
2) Sonics fire Bob Whitsitt
3) Sonics snub Shawn Kemp (long story) and pay draftee Frank Brickowski a) far more money than he's worth and b) a hell of a lot more than Kemp. (Kemp then helps Sonics to NBA Finals, while simultaneously beginning a cycle of bad public inebriation)
4) Having not apologized for the snub, Sonics then lowball Kemp in the off season. Kemp leaves.
5) Wally Walker given more responsibilities within the organization
6) Sonics fire George Karl (eventually correcting their course by hiring Karl protege, Nate McMillan to the coach's position a couple of years down the road)
7) Sonics sell to Howard Schulz
8) Sonics trade away Gary Payton. A) Good for him, he has a ring now, another pattern established, and B) Secret upside: Ray Allen.
9) Sonics "fail to secure" McMillan. A) Good for him, he was hired by area rival the Portland Blazers, which will soon be a force to be reckoned with, and B) he avoids dealing with the bullshit to follow.
10) Schulz and Walker conspire to sell the team and settle on Oklahoma City Carpet Baggers Clay Bennet and Douchebag Co.
11) In order to further alienate fans, OKCarpet Baggers (great team name, guys!) trade away Allen, and Rashard Lewis. Good for them, Allen now has a ring, Lewis is with up and coming Orlando Magic.

Sonics Jerseys I Want To Own:

20 Payton
33 Hawkins
14 Perkins
10 McMillan
25 Wingate
40 Kemp
7 Lewis
31 Barry
24 Mason
13 Snow
50 Johnson
17 Askew
8 Johnson
21 Fortson
34 Cummings
34 Allen

Yeah, all post '92, fucking sue me. May add more as more come to me. There are a number of WTF? type of names in there, I admit (Eddie and Ervin Johnson, David Wingate). This is a sentimental list. I'll add that I would've loved to have been between Kevin Calabro and Marques Johnson during any of the games they announced.

I now attempt to start calming down.


*Even kids speaking Spanish say 'wow.'

**At the time, some local voices were saying "let the Sonics move, I don't care!" pretty loudly, you see. By and large, these were voices of people who were not basketball, or sports, fans.

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This Tore My Heart Out

Thanks, Enjoy The Enjoyment, for sharing.