Wednesday, February 22, 2006

...and After Your Local News...

I just spent the last hour looking for a link of last night's Stephanie @ The Olympics bit on David Letterman, with no luck. I used to really like the Stephanie segments, though the actual footage was pretty funny (Stephanie went around showing the non-english speaking locals her backpack that had wheels on it. "I'm on American Television," she'd say, and the locals would go "oohhh," as if that explained everything)...This is the kind of gal I can go for in a heartbeat: Goofy, a good sport, and willing to laugh at herself.

She's been on the spotlight for so long, though, that the initial innocent goofiness has worn off. I don't think anything will phaze Rupert Gee, though.

One of the better things about not having cable (not constantly sucking on the cathode teat, for one thing), is that I get to keep up with David Letterman, who is something of a personal hero to me.

And, after weirdly deflating for a number of years, I'm glad to see that he's become an ornery cuss again, with jabs taken at CBS executives, the station's programming, and the current presidential administration (despite being a rumored moderate conservative). If you haven't seen him dismantle Bill O'Reilly, get your self to google now.

Like Carson's fans before him, I've been with Letterman since the moderately early days in the 80s; enough to remember his picking on other unsuspecting women in NYC, most famously the woman who was a receptionist across the way from Rockerfeller center. He pestered her through several birthdays, promotions, engagements and marriage before he stopped.

I guess his is a benevolent lechery (at least, no one has sued him cough>Bob Barker!<cough), because there's been a few other targets before Stephanie came along. And, I'm sorry, but Beat The Clock (in which the participant, usually at Hello Deli, isn't given a task to beat the clock with, leading to 30 seconds of them staring at the camera and listening to frantic music) still kills me.

Letterman's still king in my book.

And you know, seeing as this entry has absolutely zero focus, Craig Ferguson is growing on me!

At first I didn't know what to make of the guy and his rambling opening monologue (after which I usually go to bed), but I've come to appreciate the friendly way he approaches the enterprise.

As opposed to Conan. People will argue that Conan's funnier, and I'll give them that, but the 60 minutes of shtick-n-mug-o-rama can get old for me. Besides, it's not the same without Andy Richter (who really deserves a much better career).

Which leaves us with Jimmy Kimmel, the lucky bastard currently involved with Sarah Silverman (need there be a diatribe about unworthy suitors?). I don't really watch his show, was never that big on The Man Show, and Crank Yankers always had a funny bit or two in every show. Beyond that, I can't really say much.

Oh, sorry, forgot about Carson Daly. Yup.

I'll tell you what I occasionally miss: Later with Bob Costas, back when he was NBC's baseball guru and still humble enough that his intelligence didn't get in the way of an entertaining interview. Because his background wasn't in comedy, he was one of the few talk show hosts, along with Johnny C., who wasn't afraid to laugh and laugh big. I still fondly recall the infamous two-part episode with him and Richard Lewis. Infamous, because Costas essentially spent the hour on the floor laughing hysterically. Lewis was killing with the segues, to use an old comedy term. Costas eventually asked that the episodes be edited or never shown again.

Shame that.
In other news:

--Tonight I'm doing a staged reading, along with purplestine and Rob, that I directed, think good thoughts.

--Tomorrow night, I co-host Spaz 360, Seattle's own version of Dance 360, as MF Beige.

--This weekend I head out of town for another writer's weekend.

--Oh, and could someone go to JJ's blog and reassure him that potty training ain't the end of the world?



At 8:10 AM, Blogger Missuz J said...

Damn. Your life is so much more exciting than mine.

WAY back in the day, I watched Letterman all the time. I still have 2 ratty copies of his top ten lists from the early 90s. Funny funny shit.

October 21, 1993
Top Ten Signs That The Guy Mugging You Has Never Mugged Before

10. After taking money, asks if you want a receipt

9. In addition to wearing a ski mask, he's got skis and poles

8. Asks you to hold his gun while he puts on some Chapstick

7. When he's done he says, "That was fun, now you mug me"

6. You're a policeman in full uniform, standing right in front of the station house, surrounded by fellow officers carrying assault rifles

5. When you yell "stop thief", he does

4. During police line-up he waves to you and shouts "remember me"

3. Tells you he wouldn't be doing this if the "Love Boat" hadn't been cancelled (shot of Gavin Macleod)

2. He keeps saying, "You understand I'm doing this for the baby and Marla"

1. Accepts IOU's

At 11:52 AM, Blogger thelyamhound said...

I, too, am a great fan of the Letter-Man.

And I LOVE LOVE LOVE Rupert Gee. I've only see Stephanie twice, both times in the last week (if I'm up at that time on a weeknight, it's 'cause I'm OUT that time on a weeknight . . . plus we watch, like, a TON of movies), and my jury's very much out on her. My first impression--on the backpack night--was that this girl is just plain dim, and I have zero tolerance for dim. On the other hand, I watched her last night, and noted a) she is a very good sport, willing to laugh at herself and all that and b) she's got a nice ass. Between that and your lobbying for her, I'm willing to allow that what seemed like a lack of brainpower the other night was actually goofy self-effacement, two similar-looking but functionally different character traits that I've confused before.

I'd be curious to see what she AND Rupert Gee could do together if they made a team sport of public interaction. Has that been done already?

At 12:59 PM, Blogger JJisafool said...

How did the reading go?

At 1:20 PM, Blogger the beige one said...

How did the reading go?

Much better than I had any expectations for (if that's anywhere close to being grammatically correct).

the playwright got some good feedback from all involved, and I was complimented on my work, so I can't complain.

I, too, am a great fan of the Letter-Man.

Remember the Letter Man from Electric Company?

I've got that image in my head now.

At 2:03 PM, Blogger thelyamhound said...

Yeah, I was a fan of that Letter Man, too. You know Electric Company is on DVD now?

That sentence isn't grammatically correct--it ends in a preposition (but for you parenthetical aside, which still doesn't absolve the main clause)--but there's no way to fix it without doing even greater violence to the English language.

At 2:22 PM, Blogger the beige one said...

how about "much better than any of my expectations allowed?"

Electric Company on DVD? Awesome! Now we just need the first 16 seasons of Sesame Street, and I'll be a happy camper.

At 3:08 PM, Blogger thelyamhound said...

Wow. That IS a better sentence. Nice work.

Yeah, I just read about "The Electric Company" in either last week's or this week's The Stranger.

At 3:51 PM, Blogger the beige one said...

Thanks for the Top Ten List, Miss Uz J! Do you have the one for 10 Best Scottish Joke Punchlines?

At 7:52 AM, Blogger patrice said...

I...I....I go to bed at 10. I hope you guys still like me.

I do, however, worship conan. from afar (or replays.)

At 7:53 AM, Blogger patrice said...


and the dance 360 thingie!! mc beige! that is so fucking excellent. so how'd it go?

(and congrats on the reading)

At 10:01 AM, Blogger Missuz J said...

Top 10 Punch Lines to Scottish Dirty Jokes

10. It took me a fortnight to get out of the thistles
9. I didn't know you could also get wool from them!
8. It's not a bagpipe, but don't stop playing
7. What made you think I was talking about golf?
6. I've heard of comin' through the rye - but this is ridiculous!
5. Of course she's served millions - she's a McDonald
4. Oh, so YOU'RE Wade Boggs
3. Care to shake hands with the Loch Ness monster?
2. Who's burning argyles?
1. She's in the distillery making Johnnie Walker Red

At 10:34 AM, Blogger rob said...

What's wrong with "Better than I had expected"?

And, yes, it went better than I had expected, too. I don't know why, but stories about stunted lesbians stuck in loveless marriages and held prisoner by a dogmatic cult who neglect her such that she becomes permanently brain damaged always make me chuckle.

Laugh riot.

At 10:36 AM, Blogger rob said...

And if you really want to pick on some grammar, check out the tenses in my last post. Hoooooo doggie! I'm awesome!

At 10:54 AM, Blogger the beige one said...

8. It's not a bagpipe, but don't stop playing


What's wrong with "Better than I had expected"?

Isn't it a little tired and sad? Kinda passe, non?

At 11:03 AM, Blogger the beige one said...

and the dance 360 thingie!! mc beige! that is so fucking excellent. so how'd it go?

Complete fucking blast! I'm exhausted today. It was a crazy night at the bar (the local alternative weekly listed it as a "Suggests"), but lots o' great dancing, and visible yummy goodness for any interested party.

(and congrats on the reading)

Danke. Stine and Rob kicked ass, to give credit where it's due.

At 11:42 AM, Blogger rob said...

"Isn't it a little tired and sad? Kinda passe, non?"

I'll take passe and tired over egregious grammar any day.

At 12:25 PM, Blogger the beige one said...

I'll take passe and tired over egregious grammar any day.

See, I'm blazing trails, grammatically speaking. it's just who I am.

At 1:11 PM, Blogger rob said...



I mean, touche'.

No...I mean douche.

verification = wnzdjsm

As in, "Jose wins da jism fo ending a sentence with a preposition."

At 1:55 PM, Blogger Stine said...

I'd take "winning jism" over grammer - if it were me.

At 1:07 PM, Blogger Carmi said...

My enduring image of Letterman comes from his fondly remembered trips to the 5-storey tower. When he stood up top with a fluorescent tube in each hand and claimed, "I am Zeus. These are my lightning bolts," a funny synanpse in my brain snapped and hasn't reset since.

Ah, good times.

At 1:57 PM, Blogger the beige one said...

When he stood up top with a fluorescent tube in each hand and claimed, "I am Zeus. These are my lightning bolts"

I do recall something like that, wasn't that at the beginning of his experiments with gravity? Welcome, Carmi.

On topic, does anyone remember K-Marr the Discount Magician, with his lovely assistant, who was generally some cousin or niece of his?

At 11:44 AM, Blogger thelyamhound said...

Question--Am I the ONLY one who thought that Letterman's stint as Oscar host was unfairly maligned? Sure, there were hitches, but it was his first outing in a forum that tends to shy away from the very things that make him funny. I thought it was a better broadcast than it was given credit for being.

At 1:05 PM, Blogger the beige one said...

I thoroughly enjoyed his Oscar outing, and still think it played better at home than it did in the studio audience. So, yeah, I do think it has been unfairly maligned.


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