Thursday, August 02, 2007

TBO Is Brought To You By Nicogum

....right. Look, just put the dressing on top of the salad, just drown the lettuce in bleu cheese dressing, okay? Be grateful I'm eating a salad to begin with, all right, just lay off. Thank you.

Oh, hey, everyone, how's it going?

First, despite several typos to the contrary, "monies" is spelled "monies" and not "moneys". Just saying that I am aware.

Frankly, I'm a little out of sorts...Can't focus at work, irritation levels are fluctuating, though not to noticeable levels (that whole subsidy discussion? Par for the course).

What time is it? Excellent, please excuse me while I get one of these little bad boys out. Hmmm, Fruit Breeze Nicogum...It's like Raspberry Methadone...What if all drugs designed to get you off of some other drug were artificially flavored? Wouldn't that be great? New Watermelon Flavored...substitute drug something.

So, yeah, I'm doing the quitting thing with the smoking habit. And uh, yeah, it's going. It's been a little under a week, it's been kind of a weird one, I'm sure accentuated by the withdrawal. Getting my sense of smell back, which is great because now I can tell who has cigarettes to bum.

Not that I do! But it's nice to know I don't have to go bumming from complete and total strangers who don't smoke.

17 years, and this is my third attempt. This time I know what the trigger is: stress. After I'm off of the stuff, I intend to have a spare box of gum for those moments when I want to smoke but I shouldn't.

Which means in about a year, I'll need to go on the patch in order to quit chewing the gum.

HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! HAHAHAHAHA! (a la Oh, Mikey! wiki)

oh god. Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze Fruit Breeze.

13 Comments:

At 12:40 PM, Blogger JJisafool said...

Good luck, TBO. I went about six weeks last attempt, and was undone by stress. But I didn't have the gum, which might have helped me back away from the cliff.

Though, you chose the fruit flavor? Eeesh. I need the minty kick in my oral nic.

 
At 1:40 PM, Blogger Stine said...

For the stress triggers, you should keep the gum, and also get yourself a bottle of valerian root, or some kava kava. Both of those herbs helps combat the stress.

And there's always my herb of choice:






parsley.

 
At 2:00 PM, Blogger the beige one said...

kava kava, nature's roofie.

 
At 2:05 PM, Blogger Missuz J said...

Sending you all my spare will power--which is about none.

As an on again off again smoker, I don't feel you as much as an on again on again on again, but I do feel you.

Stine--didn't you chew on tons of straws or something when you quit? I ate lots and lots of those little butterscotch disks. Mmmm.

 
At 2:09 PM, Blogger the beige one said...

thanks for the well wishes. And Miss Uz J, thanks for participating in that sports entry the other day...

 
At 2:33 PM, Blogger mynx said...

good luck to you, bro!

 
At 3:52 PM, Blogger Joe said...

You can do it, you magnificent beige bastard! We believe in you! Just like we believe in representative democracy and the power of prayer. Which is to say, not much.

I kid!

Get off them smokey-treats!

 
At 9:27 PM, Blogger annetastic! said...

Oh good luck!!! That's awesome, Beigey!!!!

Now I am feeling guilty for being all stressy-wishy-washy with you! I had no idea you were trying to quit!!! I would have kept my gob shut!

Anyhoo, good luck! I know you can do it!!!! :)

 
At 8:43 AM, Blogger Stine said...

Missuz J - I did cut a whole box of straws in half, and chewed on them for about 3 weeks, and then any time anyone went outside my apartment to smoke, I had some parsley and half a straw.

So Beige, take some parsley and 2 half straw chewings, and call me in the morning.

 
At 12:12 PM, Blogger Joe said...

Not that I'm recommending it, but do you remember the time we went to the Canterbury after I'd quit smoking and I borrowed one of yours and just held it lovingly between my fingers all night? Good times.

 
At 12:19 PM, Blogger the beige one said...

Thanks Mynx, Anne and Joe! Having more people know will shame me into actually following through...

Joe, I did that during one of my first attempts at quitting. People looked at me funny, and I would practically smell the nicotine off of the cigarette.

 
At 12:38 PM, Blogger Kate said...

You're gonna kick it down the can this time Beigey, I know it. Stine is right, Kava is really powerful. Taking at least a minute of deep breaths at the same intervals you would have taken a smoke break is a good tool too. That's part of what the cigs were doing anyway.

 
At 12:23 PM, Anonymous ~A~ said...

Heh. I took the easy way out when I quit. I saw a big ol' positive on the pregnancy test and that was it. No more smoking.

Hopefully the gum helps unless you magically sprout a uterus or something.

Good luck. :)

 

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