Interesting discussion over at the attack of the killer babies
; add to that the results of this study
regarding how race no longer plays a part in how women view themselves, and...There's just something I gots to say to the ladies of this here USofA:
Baby, I've been noticing that the tabloid rags are now pointing out when the same people they call too fat are now examples of being too skinny. I know, shit, right? They got you coming and going, don't they? Decade after decade of having the fashion rags show you nothing but examples of the swizzle sticks you're supposed to embody, being told that a size 8 is being morbidly obese, and suddenly being less than a size 2 is really unhealthy.
Then, you've got Madison Avenue and the porn industry all "your tits gotta look like this, if you don't got 'em like this, make 'em like that; your hair is supposed to be blonde; you're supposed to look good wearing this; you are old once you pass 25; men will only want to fuck you if you yaddablah yaddablah."
Yes, in this entry, I will be focusing on your looks, simply because I know that that's exactly what you're doing. I gotta tell you, I'm really getting worried about your fixation, because, baby: You. Are. Shithot.
The question is, do you fit into any
of the categories mentioned above? Leaving aside the question of whether you want to, based on the constant hectoring you're receiving; would you even like to be in any of those categories, in your heart of hearts?
Hey, if you're genetically predisposed to belonging there, more power to ya, kid! I'm not about making anyone feel like shit, y'know? However, you're decidedly in the minority, loves, and this ain't about you.
Mamacita, odds are you're not being represented; and you're feeling a pressure from somewhere to be someone you ain't.
And I say, "Free yourself from those shackles, honey! You don't have to listen to any of it!"
Let me ask you something: Do you think the women of Europe are worried about this shit to the extent that you are? I can almost guarantee you that they're not.
Before you ask why, I can tell you right now, for a fact, that your latina sisters aren't either. As I stated in an entry about visiting my homeland:...women in the states who feel insecure about their bodies could learn more than a few things from their Puerto Rican counterparts.
Maybe it's because latino men are equal opportunity lechers, I don't know, but there's an attitude to be found outside of the US that is sorely missing here. I like to call it Womanitude.
Womanitude is the opposite of "My blank is not blank enough, or is too blank." Womanitude is "not only am I caring/giving/smart/witty; not only am I these and other amazing qualities that I share without thinking about it; I am also hotter than the likes of you deserve, regardless of what I do and don't have." Womanitude is being and celebrating who you are; being in your skin; it's looking at Clive Owen, Luke Wilson, Johnny Depp, Leo DiCaprio or the manmeat of your choice, look at them with CFM intensity and saying "I know you want in this body; now, eat my ass."
All women have Womanitude, though it often goes un-nurtured. It's also under constant attack, by the magazines, commercials and images mentioned before. Movies like Deuce Bigalow
, or anything set in high school (where "knockouts" become "uggos" by putting on glasses and sporting an unflattering haircut) do nothing to alleviate the situation. Fashionistas, celebrity magazines, random assholes and bitches with petty comments about your body don't do anything to help. Howard Stern and his devotees spend as much time as possible instilling the idea that there is a standard for "what all men are looking for."
Disabuse yourself of this notion as quickly as possible. Believe me, there is no such thing as a standard hottie. Those who find the women of Friends
to be the zenith of what gets them sticky tipped may be more vocal about it; but for every guy who drools over Hillary Duff and her ilk, there's a guy out there who will kill to have a shot at Camryn Manheim. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Remember, Womanitude = "Fuck off if you can't deal." Womanitude = "Fuck you, mass media, for saying I'm not the shit." Womanitude = "Fuck you for making me feel inferior."
Now, gorgeous, I don't want you to go to the other extreme, and simply become all about your looks. The hoary line about beauty coming from within is still true, and a fully realized human being is still a hell of a lot more attractive than a Barbie doll.Donyelle
, from So You Think You Can Dance
, has Womanitude. Iris Chacon
, a Puerto Rican sensation in the Twiggy and Farrah era, had it when she was young
, and she had it when she was older
. And before you think I'm just about espousing the beliefs that Sir Mix-A-Lot sang about, Bjork, PJ Harvey, Allison Hannigan
, and Peaches
are all in possession of it.
Womanitude = Not taking any of this shit seriously.