Proposal: An Alternative
America: Your current flirtation/attraction rules suck! The following is an alternative to said rules, please take a gander. If you are as frustrated as I have been in the past, and these make sense to you, feel free to pass it on. Maybe, just maybe, a change can brought about.
These apply to both men and women, and, in terms of behavior, both sides of any relationship would need to adhere to. These are ideals, based on what I noticed and remembered from being in Puerto Rico, and don't take into consideration any crazies, creepoids or douschebags (male and female) that are always out there.
1) Everybody flirts. Openly and copiously. Not only does it make life pleasant, but it also de-emphasizes those random moments of platonic flirting that people tend to get caught up on these days.
1a) When you flirt, expect the return flirt. TW had a tendency to start big with me, and then back down when the flirt came back her way, as in "oh shit, he's taking me seriously." No, it's just a return flirt.
2) Expression of interest or attraction does not mean "let's get married." It seems people get rather worried about others getting too attached early in the process. There's nothing wrong with dating, hanging out, or having someone find you attractive.
The other night, PK and I were talking, and at different points in the night, we'd talk about someone she'd just met, and her fear that they might be into her. Usually, these guys would be married or involved. Her response: "Oh, good, I was worried about that."
What would be bad about having him be interested?
"He just isn't my type, and I don't want to go through all of that. I hate hurting people."
All he said was hello, why worry about that?
"Women spend the majority of their time not wanting to flirt with guys, so that they don't get ideas, so that we don't have to turn them down."
Are you serious?
So, you spend the majority of your time freaking out about the majority of the population you're not into, instead of trying to just...not think about it?
Why not just flirt?
"Have you ever been date-raped?"
2a) When you get a "no," it has no reflection on you or the quality of your being. Move on, there are always other friends to play with.
3) Fucking around? >le thumbs!< Just be careful, and when ya wanna settle down, don't be surprised if the fuckables don't wanna go there with you.
4) Take care of yourself, in all the various meanings that can have. Also, be mindful of others.
5) Take chances, you really never know when something might work out a hell of a lot better than what you'd expect. This goes for both those you are taking a risk on, and those who're taking a risk on you.